Linsey

I was sitting here thinking about the men in our lives.  I know that I was hard to live with.  I had to be.  I was unhealthy and unhappy.  I was not the happy go lucky girl that Jeff knew.  Sure, for the first few years, with being newly married and the new babies, everything was okay (although, preganacy hormones didn’t help things).  But then, I’m sure, the newness wore off.  I didn’t lose the baby weight, in fact I gained more.  And the more I gained, the worse I was.  Depression over my weight played a toll on my personality, and I’m sure on our marriage.  I was short and snippy with him a lot of the time, and would project my misery and anger on him.  Plus we were quite young (we married at 19 and 20) so while our his friends were “living it up” we were stuck at home with the kids.  And while our friends were toting around their newest fling(who was beautiful and thin) he was stuck with misrible, overweight, me.  I have a feeling he put up with a lot more than he should have had to.   Of course, hindsight is 20/20.  I had no realization that this was going on as it was happening.  But now I can see it.  Now that I am in a better place, health wise and emotionally, I can see that I was probably an ogre.  For about 7 years, I was awful.  I was not the girl he married but he loved me anyway.    He knew I was the same me and I was beautiful inside, I just had to find myself again.  This was us on our wedding day.  I was so tiny for being 5 months pregnant!!! 

He, on the other hand, has never changed.  He looks the same, although a little older, and hasn’t gained a pound.  He eats like a pig, but with his physical job(we have a logging company) he only gets better with age.  I hate to say it, but for a while, I’m sure he could have had better.  I love Jeff for sticking with me through all the rough stuff I went through.  I love him for always saying, and acting like, I looked good, no matter what weight I was.  For never letting on that my weight affected our marraige at all.  Our sex life was always good, even when I weighed almost as much as him, and felt ugly.  He has always shown me support, even when I was so down on myself I thought I would never lose the weight and would be heavy forever.  He supported me while I was losing it, always saying he was proud of how far I had come.  He would even praise buddyslim, saying he thought that you guys were really helping me (and you were).  He was always loving, and never got on me about my weight.

So here’s to the men in our lives who have shown us the loving support that we need, and stick by us, even when it would be easier to just let go.  I sit here now, with tears in my eyes, wondering what life would be like without such a wonderful man to stand by my side and hold my hand. Always remember to show them how much they mean to you.  We never know what life will bring, but with them by our side, we can do anything!

Make it a great one!

Linz